skip to main |
skip to sidebar
CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
I happen to be very fortunate, my in-laws adore me. I also happen to be somewhat cursed, my in-laws adore me. Seriously, it is a double edged sword. I live in a culture where is it common to live with your parents until you get married, whether you are 22 or 45 year old. And in many cases, the married couple moves into the same house or the apartment downstairs (usually an inheritance). I live in a culture where your business is their business or at least they try to make it that way. And no matter how many times they say it’s because they love us, it’s still “butting in” to me.
This weekend is Christmas weekend which lasts through Tuesday, December 26, which is Boxing Day – something my family in the US has never celebrated. We are expected to be at my in-laws Sunday for dinner, Monday for lunch, Monday for dinner, and Tuesday for lunch and Tuesday evening for dinner. Overkill. But for them, it is the way it is, no questions asked. So you can imagine how it went over when I said we’d be there for Christmas Eve and basta. You’d think I’d committed a crime! The calls, the guilt, the hurt, it’s enough to drive me crazy at times. The best is when they say, did “we do something wrong”? How do I explain that “we (Americans) just don’t do things the same way”? In the end, Luigi has convinced me to go there for Christmas Day dinner as well. (Note, I offered to do it in our house, but there is not enough space – no joke!), but that’s it.
My saving grace is that my dear husband is finally started to understand where I come from. I’m not trying to be mean or ungrateful, but I am trying to set boundaries – and he agrees we need them. I adore my in-laws too, but Luigi and I need to be able to establish our own family, our own traditions and own life. In addition, I’d like to mix a bit of American culture in my Italian life. I may have moved to Italy, but there’s no reason I should give up everything I was and still am.
You always hear about the tight knit Italian family, but until you live it, you have no idea what it’s really like. It’s part blessing (they are wonderful people) yet very frustrating. They don’t complain about me, but the disappointment is clearly there whenever I/we say no. I guess it’s just something I will always have to deal with…
HAPPY HOLIDAYS and may you enjoy and cherish the time you have with your families, even if it is a overkill!
P.S. My father-in-law just called. The neighbors are coming over this evening to watch the soccer game and with a bottle of spumante and a panettone to celebrate Christmas, are we coming??!!
MY ITALIAN RETREAT...Believe it or not, there are times when even I need to get away from it all. I know most people would think “But you live in Italy, paradise is at doorstep!” But I am also one of those types of people that cannot completely relax unless you take me away from my home/office. The beach works for a few hours but I always think about “the work” when I return home. So instead, I need to be in an element different than my own but with all the comforts of home. For me, this place is Baur B&B…
Nestled in the rolling hills behind the charming town of Acqui Terme lies my idea of paradise. Baur B&B is a small, boutique style B&B owned and managed by Diana Strinati Baur (American) and her husband Micha Baur (German). They bought this piece of property about 4 years ago when the farmhouse was merely standing but not exactly habitable and the 11 acres (or something like that) was overgrown and wild. It is now a gorgeous & colorful structure with 2 fabulous and comfy guestrooms and the land has been transformed into beautiful grounds for roaming (especially for my dog Lucy and their dog Max) plus a lovely pool area and dining patio.
Diana is an artist at heart. She make ceramics (most of the plates and cups are done by her), paints (the walls have many of her creative works) and has an eye for combining style and comfort to near perfection! She has tastefully decorated the farmhouse inside and out to make you feel as if there is no place better to be…Micha takes care of the “outdoors” which is a BIG job. He keeps the land looking manicured without losing its “wildness” and charm. He is a groundskeeper/farmer/pool man/plumber/electrician/ poolman PLUS a tour guide for the area!
The Suite consists of a living room with pull out couch, Satellite TV, DVD player and refrigerator, a nice size bath room with big shower (and lots of good running hot water!) and a cozy bedroom. The second bedroom is very large with a sitting area and bathroom with bathtub and the same amenities as the suite. It’s hard to choose which one I prefer (although I partial to soaking in a warm bath when possible!).
The outdoor dining area and the pool are the real “traps” for me. I can sit out there for hours staring at the same hill and never get bored! That’s when you know they have something special. I have not figured out exactly what it is about Baur B&B that makes me decompress but I imagine it is a combination of the comfort, the incredible hospitably and company of my dear friends the Baurs, the clean air and the views. Whatever it is, I give all the credit to Diana & Micha who set out to do something special and have really made it happen.
Baur B&B is a retreat, a treat and perfect for anyone who wants to enjoy quiet Italian living in the heart of its beauty and nature. For more information, please take a look at their web site: www.baurbb.com.
I happen to be very fortunate, my in-laws adore me. I also happen to be somewhat cursed, my in-laws adore me. Seriously, it is a double edged sword. I live in a culture where is it common to live with your parents until you get married, whether you are 22 or 45 year old. And in many cases, the married couple moves into the same house or the apartment downstairs (usually an inheritance). I live in a culture where your business is their business or at least they try to make it that way. And no matter how many times they say it’s because they love us, it’s still “butting in” to me.
